Buzz

I admit it. I love Christmas shopping. I love buying gifts for people. I absolutely adore thinking about what people like and need and finding the perfect gift. I do look forward to this time of year because of the gift giving – among other things, of course.

It’s in the genes, man. My dad is a very good gift giver. He gave me a beautiful opal ring in 8th grade, an amazing black formal coat in highschool, and a couple of killer bracelets in college. He is fun to watch. He waltzes into a store, takes about 30 seconds to survey the scene, and he’s off. It doesn’t take him long -he has such a good eye – and I think he enjoys it too.

I just finished shopping for the kids. I have a serious buzz just thinking about how much they are going to enjoy the little treasures I found. Nothing fancy, but just the thing.

For me, the most meaningful gifts are the ones I can tell someone thought about. The real gift is the time someone thought about me, what I needed, what I liked, what I’m interested in.

God gave me all I needed, when He gave us Jesus. Just like God to know what would be practical, needed, beautiful, mysterious, thoughtful, and extravagant.

God, this Christmas,  please let you know who give his heart to you.  Amen

PS: If you tell me who you are praying will respond to Jesus this Christmas, I’ll pray too. Promise.

Defiant Hope

Another great post up at Happiness is a Butterfly.  She described decorating for Christmas as an act of defiance against all the hardships her family is experiencing right now. Her words really resonated with me.

I felt similarly decorating our home the other night. But you know, being surrounded by reminders that God has given such a wonderful gift to humanity in Jesus, has helped. I love the glittery lights, and the music of the season, the anticipation of seeing family, but what I continue to cherish each year, is that despite it all – and this year there’s a little more ALL to take exception too, but despite it ALL, there is reason to celebrate and remember and tell the story.

Here’s a little glimpse into what’s helping me along this season.

Thanksgiving

We had two Thanksgiving celebrations this year. Wednesday night was spent at home with our friend, Rafik, from Egypt. I loved cooking the big feast and especially enjoyed how much fun Rafik had with the turkey.

Everything arrived at the table a little late, but it all tasted just the way I had hoped. Rafik was a super fun guest. The talk around the table was fascinating and refreshing.

Today we spent with my parents.  My mom got out my grandmother’s jewelry and officially handed it over to me and my girls. We all had a blast looking through it and each donned a piece in honor of Grandma T. Even though we are all supposed to share it, I put on a ring I don’t think I’ll be taking off for a very long time. Thank you Mom. We promise to enjoy these treasures for many, many years to come.

Dad shared stories and told us a lot about these past years in AA. It’s been such a journey, and one I rarely hear him talk about.  Maybe he hasn’t had words, or maybe we didn’t seem interested. But tonight, he was talking and we were listening. He seemed different tonight. I enjoyed seeing him smile, tell stories, and talk about God in ways that make me believe God is drawing Dad to Himself. I teared up a few times just imagining heaven with Dad.

There is much to be thankful for right now, but tonight I’m most thankful for this Thanksgiving Day – for the gift it was all by itself – and I know who gave it to me.

R.I.P.

After 15 very good years, I’m finally laying this old friend to rest.

Half of Genesis is gone and Romans and Acts are squished between 1st and 2nd Timothy. I covered the bonded leather cover with plastic ages ago and now it is pealing off. I can’t tell you how long I have put this off.

I feel like I’m parting with a very good friend. I can flip this bible open and know just by feel where everything is. All my favorite verses are dated, names of speakers who have shared inspiring words are jotted in the margins, promises and prayers underlined and starred and highlighted.

If I didn’t love my new Bible so much, I don’t think I would have the heart.

Here’s to you, old friend. May you rest in peace until eager and nostalgic fingers of some son or daughter, grandson or granddaughter find you some day and see how good God’s word was to me.

Inside

Two friends from Madison, WI came yesterday to visit.

Two people who knew my life back in Madison very well, came to look inside my new life here in Sycamore.

I really wasn’t sure how I was going to feel. I tried not to over clean, over plan, over smile, or over worry. But I admit, I did each of those more than I wanted to.

For some reason, I thought I might feel small and insignificant showing them all the things that make me happy here… my house in the corn field, my new budget friendly curtains made with lots of love and no money, our candy store, our library in the funky building, the kid’s school, my sewing corner, the barn cat, the gi-normous closets in the kid’s rooms, the super duper high base boards that I can’t live without, the 100 year old doorbell, the coffee house I frequent, the students I get to spend time with..

Guess what? I felt proud and very content. I love what God has provided here. I could live here a long time.

I miss Madison very, very much – more than that actually.

And I love what life looks like here too.

That’s OK, right?

 

 

When I get the chance…

These are posts I need to write…  (Maybe next week? Maybe?)

1. The challenges of being a Christian in America

Why it’s hard to live in relative ease and comfort… What we miss out on by not “needing” God in the same ways our brothers and sisters around the world do… What our rugged individualism does to community and fellowship (or lack there of)… What we do as a society with our secret guilt and restlessness…

2.  New YAF (young adult fiction) writers I am enjoying

Shannon Hale and her series that begins with Goose Girl has been such a treat.

Bodil Bredsdorff and her series The Children of Crow Cove is also amazing. These stories  are translated from Danish and I don’t think I have read more beautiful prose in a very long time – breathtaking!

3. These are the best years of my entire life – and I mean it!

Past the blur of diapers and no sleep and fears that I’ll always have to buckle 3 other people in before I can get going. Living with the sweet reality that this time goes so fast and my kids are so, so, wonderful.

4. Coming up on 10 years of marriage.

Reflections on how this relationship has changed me.

OK – you pick. Which one first?

 

Giggles

Our beach vacation brought back many wonderful memories for me. Growing up, my grandparents spent 2-3 months out of the year snow-birding it in Clearwater Beach, Florida. I spent nearly every spring break down there with my mom and brother.

I remember searching for shells and sand dollars with my grandparents, and later gluing them down to big straw place mats; “Pirate Cruises” on a fancy red sailboat way out into the ocean; trips to Bush gardens; and probably my favorite part – going out to eat at fancy restaurants and ordering Shirley Temples, fried shrimp, and crab legs.

One restaurant I fell in love with right away was the Belleview Biltmore. Beautiful ball rooms, gorgeous grounds, amazing food. I decided I MUST get married there…

I’m pretty sure my parents were relieved when I didn’t go that route. Tee Hee…

PS: H7 and L4 – don’t get any ideas.  How does the Steak Pit sound?

 

 

What we can…

I have a bona-fide animal lover for a daughter. She loves animals, and they love her back. She is most at home in her own skin when she is around them. She plays with the neighbors outdoor cat for hours on end. We don’t feed it, don’t let it inside, and yet it faithfully comes over for a daily dose of love and affection from her.

We can not have our own animals right now, and so we are on the hunt for ways to continue to develop this passion – actually, it’s more like a need. We checked out a local riding facility this weekend. She loves horses. She has a way with them. She has that natural confidence and calm about her that make horses comfortable. If I had told her we could spend the night there, only we had to sleep on the freezing cold ground without a blanket she would have cheerfully agreed. (Side note: grandparents who read this blog. This is what she wants for Christmas…$$ for lessons. She is faithfully saving her allowance and with Christmas money is hoping to buy an 11 lesson package for the spring.)

Anyway, we are also volunteering at our local Humane Society together. I’m not sure we are going to make good volunteers. We may end up crying way tooooo  much or end up ‘”borrowing” animals to drop off at all our friends and neighbors houses.

We are doing what we can. I’m not complaining. Truthfully, this part of parenting I treasure. I love seeing how God has made her. I love training her up in the way she should go, in other words, coming alongside the way God has made her, providing experience and guidance, so she can blossom and grow.

I guess, all I’m trying to say is, if you find a dog or cat on your front stoop with a little note, you’ll  know she fell in love with another one, and well, you know.

A Little Peak

We had a fantastic time on vacation – and thanks so much to those who prayed for our health. God answered your prayers – and kept the kids sick. This, however, ended up being the reason why we had such a refreshing experience.

We were in Florida to attend the The Navigators National Collegiate Conference. Every four years our organization hosts this conference to gather all of us who labor on college campuses in the US for a time of encouragement and teaching. Typically, Ben and I look forward to these conferences as a time to learn and connect with our fellow Nav staffers, and leaders we don’t see frequently.

Because the kids were sick this year, we couldn’t put them in the childcare offered at the conference, or get together with friends who had small kids, as we didn’t want to spread the joy of fevers and runny noses though out the conference. This forced us to evaluate what content each of us most wanted to attend, and only go to that, swapping being with the kids, back and forth. The kids and I alternated between lying low at the condo watching Animal Planet, and playing on the beach. We did very little else – and it was exactly what we all needed.

I could almost hear the collective “sigh” as each of laid our burdens down on the boardwalk and relaxed and played in the beautiful sand and waves.

God did two really special things for me on the trip. Seeing the kids enjoy a fun-filled, relaxing vacation filled me with joy. You know how I’ve struggled at times with all the upheaval and transition we’ve dragged the kids through over this last year. Despite the peace God’s given me in my soul that He loves them, that He will use these experiences to reveal Himself to them, it was wonderful to see God bless their socks off. I know each of them felt God had designed each day just for them and saw His caring and loving provision of sun and waves and free kayaks. They all had a sense God was saying, “Thanks kids! You’ve earned this great vacation. Enjoy yourself!” And they sure did.

God also allowed time to reconnect with a dear friend from our days in TN, Allison. We enjoyed a wonderful conversation after the kids were tucked in one night. I’m always so blessed when I get to see how God is moving and working even in the midst of hard stories. I feel really humbled to be friends with such compassionate and earnest people who God is using in such interesting ways.

God is using a verse a speaker shared at the conference to help me continue to remain relaxed and filled with the sense of peace and care I felt on those beaches.

It’s Psalm 9:10 -  “And those who know they name will put their trust in Thee. For Thou, O Lord, hast not forsaken those who seek Thee.”

Sorry for the old Englishy version. I’m so used to NASB, I can’t switch. But isn’t that the truth though? I know God. I can trust God. He has not forsaken me. Amen.

Honest Scrap

Ness, over at Happiness is a Butterfly,  included my blog in her list of 7 Honest blogs! So, the deal is I have to tell you 10 “honest” things about myself. Well, I’ve been mulling it over as I unpack from vacation…

1. I also, just like Ness, don’t enjoy talking on the the phone. I also, just like Ness, only ever call my mom, because she doesn’t really like the phone either. However – I love to text. So, hey…text me!

2. I am also, just like Ness, stuck in neutral about the more kids thing. I think I would really like another one, but feel conflicted about why – is it because I just miss having a little lump of love who will hug me and snuggle with me whenever I want to, do I have the physical stamina to have another one and not totally drag the family down for the next year, am I just trying to escape the hard work of really getting to know and develop my relationship with my older kids…

3. I tend to over think things a bit… see above.

4. I wrestle with anxiety. However, I really do wrestle with it, which means I try not to let it win in my life.

5. I, just like Ness, am a jack of all trades, master of none.

6. I like a lot of external structure in my life. That’s why public school is working out for us right now, it’s why I love our big mega church with lots of programs and groups all set up and ready to go, why I love living by the academic calendar… I think it’s because I have no internal structure. I’m a big blob of feeling, intuition, ideas… All the external structure allows me to stay productive and lets my insides stay jumbled and jiggly, which is how I like ‘um.

7. I have always dreamed of living on a huge farm/ranch with lots of animals. I would love to use the place as a rest-stop type of place for missionary families who need some pampering and encouragement, and a tiny weeny bit of counseling.

8. I would like to write a book. I have a plot, 2 heroines, 1 villan, and a working title ready to go.

9. I am prejudiced against very confident people – people who don’t have a “but-clause.” You know, people who are unwilling to acknowledge they might be wrong, or under influences they aren’t aware of, or not as well read as they think, etc. I think it’s because I grew up with an attorney for a father, who of course, was never, ever, ever wrong.

10. I don’t floss very frequently. Ugh. How embarrassing.

And so, this is how this whole Honest Scrap thing works.

1. Must thank the person who gave you the award and list their blog and link it.

You rock Ness. Thank you!

2. Share “10 Honest things” about yourself. (check)
3. Present this award to 7 others whose blogs you find brilliant in content and/or design, or those who have encouraged you.
4. Tell those 7 people they’ve been awarded HONEST SCRAP and inform them of these guidelines in receiving the award.

Ok, here -in no particular order- are 7 blogs I read regularly:

1.  Well, Ness at Happiness is a Butterfly – but she already knows that. Duh.

2.  Megan at Half Pint House. She and I have known each other since college, and she is the most industrious women I know.

3. Megan’s husband, Craig, at Second Drafts, and I have also been friends for eons. He used to be my boss, and a really good boss at that.

4. Susie is my super-duper friend. She has seen me through thick and thin – and she just moved to the town I grew up in. Yeah!

5. Mark and Dana, over at Life According to Zaba, have been true, true, friends of our family for a while now. They are the type of friends you call on to pray for you, even if you haven’t talked with them in a while. They are good people – and the dog is just icing on the cake.

6. My friend, Allison, over at Stellar Propeller, is a wonderful photographer, and amazing friend.

7. The Long Thread…for sewing ideas.

There you have it! Up next…vacation pics! And thanks again, Ness. I sure do hope we meet in person soon.